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Radio Free Tote Bag

Welcome to Radio Free Tote Bag! A weekly relationship advice podcast hosted by Audrey and Donovan.

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Latest Episodes

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Episode 35

November 15, 2018

#35 The One Where Donovan Dies feat. Mucinex

Oh man it's cold out, the days are shorter, and illness is running rampant among the RFTB team. Arthur may be out of hell but Donovan is in the seventh circle of congestion. Blech. We're out here saving relationships though, despite our troubles. We talk fetishes and where they may become a problem. Kpop obsessions and celebrity crushes and if that's gonna be a problem in your love life. Gay porn on your wife's phone even though she claims she doesn't approve of porn. Not liking your friend's SO. And guess what, more Sonic the Hedgehog vore. And then we literally read gay porn titles until the episode ends. Lucky you, listener, lucky you. It's all here on Radio Free Tote Bag. ...

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01:02:03

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Episode 34

November 08, 2018

#34 RFTB Rodeo feat. Caroline and Greg of Stasney Mav/Sleeptalkre/The Queen and King

This week we're lucky to have some special guests, Nashville musicians Greg and Caroline, the minds behind musical goodness also known as Stasney Mav, Sleeptalkre, and The Queen and King. We talk horrible relationship stories, SOs trapped in the bathroom for THREE HOURS, labelling your sexual orientation (or if you even should). We have a DOUBLE FRIENDZONE ROCK BLOCK featuring weird roommates who sniff you or stomp all over the goddamn place. Finally, we get into stories of that friend everyone has who just pee wherever they want when they're inebriated. You can find Caroline and Greg's music on Spotify or follow them on Insta @stasneymav and @_grawg ...

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01:10:07

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Episode 33

October 31, 2018

#33 The RFTB Halloween Spooktacular!

The moon is full and the werewolves are on the prowl. Bats zoom through the sky and accidentally turn into their human form in mid air and fall several hundred feet onto unsuspecting trick or treaters, terrifying them! And Arthur is haunted by the specter of heartbreak and is handling it questionably. But we're here for him, because it's the RFTB HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR! We tackle hypothetical infidelity, the splitting of costs, penis envy, the realities of careers and relationships, being single as your age advances, those three little words, and worries over a son's isolation - all while deftly weaving in Halloween references that range from related to EXTREMELY TANGENTIAL. Spoopy! Don your spookiest garb and come trick or treating with us - only this time the trick is HEARTBREAK and the treat is OUR SOOTHING VOICES. ...

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01:11:38

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Episode 32

October 25, 2018

#32 Folks!

What's the deal with tote bags? In this episode we crack open our aspirational stand-up notebooks and share some of our musings at the top of the show. If you can make it through that, there's relationship advice galore! We dabble a bit in pubsecent reunions, post-coitus avoidance and text deciphering. We hit up the question box for some fan engagement. We explore the topics of ghosting and cat phishing. It's good! ...

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01:10:24

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Episode 31

October 18, 2018

#31 Tough Love and the Cat Ham

We're livin the high life folks, except it's that LIGHT high life. We talk light beer, the magic of booze, and Donovan ripping ass while trying to show off at the gym. The beer is smooth and so is he. On the other hand sometimes you can't just rip one right in life's face. Sometimes there are loved ones' feelings involved, even if objectively their music or massive collages or personalities just aren't that great. Or maybe they're 80-something and nearing death's door and you might want to suck up the bad times because you might not have much time left with em. Or maybe your friend's in some important pictures but she doesn't like em but it's not like you can redo your whole goddamn wedding day. In these cases you gotta tread the tightrope carefully and RFTB can help. ...

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01:05:44

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Episode 30

October 11, 2018

#30 Dirty Thirty

What's good in Tote Land? This cool episode, that's what. Donovan sees it coming, then Arthur shares an awkward interaction with an old. Remember, if you're planning a trip, respect your trip buddy's feelings about strip clubs. Your flaps are fine. Don't let yourself get sucked into your partner's couch spiral. If you're the funny guy, lean into it. You can use the phrase "No srsly" though. Learn to DJ and throw parties at your place if your friends wanna go out all the time and you wanna stay in. Your libidos aren't always gonna match up, so talk it out, then bang it out. Get her an IUD-Day gift. DON'T LOOK A GIFT DICK IN THE BALLS! ...

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01:08:23